In the silence
by raven.lakrah
Summary: Alex left for WPP and Olivia has a hard time dealing with it. After getting traumatized during an undercover operation the detective is in an even worse state of mind, not sure if she will ever recover. When Olivia gets kidnapped Alex is the only one, who can save her. But will the former ADA put her own life in danger to save Olivia's?
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: hey everybody!_

I've been thinking about writing this story for a long, long time, but now I have reached a point where I had to write it down.

It's my take on what happened after Alex had left for WPP and I for sure hope you'll enjoy reading this story as much as I love writing it.

Sadly I don't own these characters, but I'm brave now and borrow them for a little while to see where my thoughts are leading them.

comments, reviews etc. would be highly appreciated since it is my first Law & Order: SVU story and I have to admit that I'm kinda nervous.

much love,

raven

* * *

**IN THE SILENCE**  
**by Raven**

**-PROLOG-**

Olivia Benson watched the black van disappear into the darkness of the night.

Her thoughts were one big jumble, her mind still trying to process what she had found out just a few minutes ago.

Elliot Stabler, her fellow detective and work partner, watched her intensely, a worried look on his face, but right that moment Olivia Benson didn't give a damn.

Alexandra Cabot was alive.

And while Olivia couldn't be happier about it, she still felt weird 'cause she had tried to deal with the fact that the Assistant District Attorney had been killed about a week ago.

It had happened right in front of her eyes in fact.  
Alex had been shot and Olivia herself had knelt by her side, had tried to stop the bleeding, her hands covered with the blood of the smart, blonde woman.

She had blamed and tortured herself for not being able to save Alex,had felt so unbelievably guilty for breaking her word and not succeeding in protecting the A.D.A.  
Olivia had stood at the cemetery, mourning the loss of a friend, right next to Alexandra Cabot's devastated mother, and now that she knew that the blonde was still alive, but put into the Witness Protection Program, her whole world was upside down.

After days of having the worst nightmares Olivia and Elliot had been brought to the middle of nowhere by some FBI Agent and there she had been - Alexandra Cabot, waiting for them to say a last good bye.

And Olivia didn't know how to feel about it 'cause Alex being alive, but leaving for the Witness Protection Program, didn't change the fact that she wouldn't be able to see or talk to the smart blonde again.

She would never stop worrying about Alex, but the fact that she had no way in checking on her drove Olivia crazy.

Life was such a bitch at times.  
This wasn't fair.  
The A.D.A. had done nothing, but being brave and fighting for justice.  
She simply didn't deserve such a "punishment".

Olivia herself felt betrayed as well.  
She never had been someone to have a lot of friends 'cause it was too hard for her to let down her walls, to let people in, which was the burden of her troubled past.

Elliot and his family were practically everything she had.  
Except for Alexandra Cabot.

They hadn't had the easiest start and at times Olivia had wanted to strangle the ambitious blonde woman, but she had come to treasure their arguing 'cause it was challenging and bringing the best out of her. Of both of them.  
Somehow she and the A.D.A. had become friends along the way of serving justice, but now the blonde was gone.  
And maybe she would never return.

But at least Alexandra Cabot was alive.


	2. Chapter 2

**-CHAPTER 1-**

"I need a drink, that's for sure. Wanna join me?"  
Elliot looked at Olivia, who was still staring into the darkness, expectantly, but didn't get an answer.  
In fact his partner didn't react at all.

He stepped closer and put his right hand on her shoulder carefully to get her attention, "Liv?"

"Hm?"  
She sounded absent.

"I really could use a drink and I just wondered if you'd possibly care to join me?", Elliot announced in a warm tone and this time Olivia nodded in response.  
-

The drive back to the city had been silent, Olivia had done nothing, but stared out of the window, her thoughts obviously miles away and Elliot was highly alarmed.

He was sure that something was going on, he just couldn't name it and his partner didn't seem to be willing to talk about it.  
So he would be patiently waiting until Olivia would come around 'cause Elliot knew there was no point in pushing her.  
That way she would just shut him out completely.  
-

Sitting in the very last corner of a bar not far from their office, Olivia stared into her glass filled with whiskey, lost in her thoughts once more.

Elliot had raised an eyebrow when she had ordered the brown liquid instead of beer, which he would have expected her to order, but that night Olivia didn't care.

Everything about her job and her life seemed pointless and it would take a lot more and heavier stuff to deal with herself.

For a while the two detectives sat there in silence, Elliot Stabler watching the crowd and sipping on his beer, Olivia Benson emptying her whiskey in two big gulps, ordering another one without even looking up.

But then, all of a sudden, she looked her partner straight in the eyes, "I just don't get why it was so important to her to say good bye to us. To let us know that she is okay..."

"I think Alex meant for you to know. And that's why she told us. 'Cause that way you don't have to carry the burden of knowing alone. That way you have somebody to talk to", Elliot answered sincerely, smiling at Olivia, who nodded and took another gulp of whiskey.

"It's not fair that she had to give up her whole life, that she had to leave. That she has to hide 'til God knows when", she added after a while.

"No, Liv. It's not fair. Not at all. But we should be glad that Alex is okay. At least she is still alive".  
He for himself felt better since he knew that Alexandra Cabot hadn't died, but Olivia obviously didn't.  
And when Elliot recognized the tears, which were welling in his partner's eyes, it hit him that the situation was a lot worse than he had expected.

"She might be alive, Elliot. But her life has been taken away from her. And we lost Alex anyway..."


	3. Chapter 3

**-CHAPTER 2-**

When Olivia woke up the next morning she had a major headache and for the first time in, what seemed forever, she called in sick and went back to sleep right after she had made the call.

Maybe some hours of rest would make her feel better, but she doubted it.  
Nothing could take away the pain of losing somebody and that was exactly what had happened to her.  
Alexandra Cabot might not have died, but to Olivia she was dead anyway.  
Everything else would be too risky and could blow up the whole Witness Protection thing.  
So she had lost Alex even though the blonde woman had survived the shooting.  
-

Olivia stirred 'cause her phone wouldn't stop ringing.  
A look at the clock on her nightstand told her that it was past 2 am and she jumped up.  
Had she really slept that long?

"Benson", she growled sleepily as soon as she managed to pick up.

"Liv, it's Elliot. I know you aren't feeling well and I wouldn't have called, but it's an emergency. I need you at the hospital..."

"I'll be there in about twenty minutes."  
-

She hurried out of the elevator, just to be greeted by her partner, who obviously had been waiting for her already.  
And although Olivia didn't feel much better, she knew that work would be her only chance to go on with her life 'cause it was practically everything she had.

"So, what have we got?" she asked straight away.

Elliot had wanted to ask if Olivia was okay, but she still didn't seem to be in the mood for talking, so he focused on their new case, "A sixteen year old Jane Doe. She has been found in Central Park, unconscious, without an ID. Beaten down and brutally raped. They had to stitch her back together with over 300 stitches."

"Good God! Is she awake yet?"  
Olivia wanted to know, sadness shining in her eyes.

"Well, she's been in and out countless times in the last hour, but whenever I or another male person entered her room, she started screaming for her life. That's why I called you."

The female detective stepped closer to the window, taking a glimpse at another child, another victim, who's innocence had been taken away forever.

And now it was her job to catch the bastard, who had done it, but therefor she had to get that poor girl to talk.  
So Olivia took a deep breath, looked at Elliot Stabler for a second and then she entered the room of the teenage version of Jane Doe.

The girl was sleeping, which gave Olivia the opportunity to look at the victim, hoping that she would find a special feature or distinction, that would help them to identify the teenager in case she wouldn't be able to have a proper conversation with the girl before the morning.

But the swollen and bruised face of the girl wouldn't be of any help in the near future, which caused Olivia to sigh heavily.  
This wasn't good and she knew it.  
-

Olivia had stayed in the hospital room until the morning, but she hadn't gotten a chance to question the victim about anything.  
In fact the girl had woken up from a nightmare in the early morning and the doctors had to inject her some sedativum to get her to calm down 'cause she had been hysterical and out of control.  
But the injection had knocked her out again, so Olivia had left for the office to do some research on the case, together with Elliot.  
-

They had went through more than 200 reports of missing teenagers, but they couldn't tell if the girl in the hospital was one of them yet.  
And of course nobody had witnessed the crime, the victim had been found by a security guy, who had been doing his rounds.  
Plus the forensic experts had told them that in their opinion the girl hadn't been raped in the park, that she might even have been taken hostage for a while or at least that was the conclusion they had gotten when they had recognized the marks on Jane Doe's wrists.  
She had to have been chained up for some time.  
-

When Olivia had received a call from the hospital about the girl finally being awake it was almost 8 pm and she entered the building, together with Elliot Stabler, only a few minutes later.

The female detective sat in the girl's room for a while, talking to the fragile teenager as calm as possible, but the victim seemed to be too scared to even speak.

This case clearly would be hard to solve if it would go on like that.  
But right that second Olivia Benson noticed something on the girl's arm, which caught her attention immediately.  
From what Olivia could tell it was some tattoo, but she wasn't entirely sure, so she asked the still silent girl if it was okay if she took a look at it and for the first time she got a reaction 'cause the teenager nodded.

She didn't dare to touch the girl, but at least Olivia was able to see what had been hidden under one of the bandages.  
For some time she tried to figure out what it was, but since most of it was covered, Olivia couldn't tell for sure.

"Is that a unicorn?" she asked carefully and the girl nodded again.  
Luck obviously had decided to help them out after all.

"That's lovely. I better get going then to let you rest. I'll be back tomorrow to check on you, okay?"

Another nod was the answer and Olivia smiled at the girl, who's way to recovery would be a long and painful one.

And right before she left the room, the teenager announced, totally unexpected, "Melissa Walker. My name is Melissa Walker."


	4. Chapter 4

**-CHAPTER 3-**

Elliot had been waiting outside the room the whole time and Olivia told him everything she had found out right away, when a woman in a business suit, whom they both didn't know, showed up and started asking them about the case.

"We are not authorized to talk about ongoing investigations, sorry", Detective Stabler responded quickly.

"Well, you'll talk to me anyway. May I introduce myself...my name is Casey Novak and I'm replacing former Assistant District Attorney Alexandra Cabot", she offered her hand to Olivia and Elliot, but neither of them shook it.

"There is nothing to talk about yet and right now you are just keeping us from doing our job", Olivia announced, her voice trembling, "And you'll never be able to replace Alexandra Cabot."  
-

Olivia had stormed out of the hospital right after snapping at the new A.D.A. 'cause if she hadn't she might have lost control.  
At least over her emotions.  
And there was no way she would let anybody see her cry.

The detective was aware of the fact that Elizabeth Donnelly would have to hire somebody new to "fill" the hole the 'death' of Alexandra Cabot had caused at some point, but it was way too early for that.  
Olivia was nowhere near ready to accept a new Assistant District Attorney and maybe she never would be.  
-

After the bad start with Casey Novak Olivia tried practically everything to avoid the, for her taste a little too enthusiastic, woman whenever possible, but since they still had the case of Melissa Walker running it wasn't as easy as the detective might have wished for.

A whole week of investigating and sleepless nights had led nowhere and Olivia Benson felt the exhaustion bringing her down more and more.  
She knew she needed a break, but truth be told, Olivia wasn't able to sleep, not even to close her eyes 'cause whenever she tried to get some rest she saw Alex.  
She was brought back to the day of the shooting, where she had knelt right next to her wounded friend, fighting for Alex' life with her blood - covered hands.

Would that nightmare ever come to an end?  
Would Alex come back one day?

"Why do we still have no clue where Melissa's father is?"

The sound of the familiar, but yet not really welcome voice pulled Olivia out of her thoughts within a second.

"It's not that easy, Counselor. Melissa's mother died when she was eleven and her dad is abroad for business. We tried to reach him at his hotel, but he is on a trip to a vineyard and can't be talked to at the moment. We left him a message that he should contact us immediately, but no reaction 'til now", Olivia tried to explain.

"Any other living relatives, who could take care of the girl?"  
Casey Novak looked at the detective expectantly.

"Unfortunately not."

"I see. Any news about the delinquent?" the A.D.A. wanted to know.

"No. No matches on the DNA sample, which was found under Melissa's fingernails."  
Olivia felt helpless 'cause they were stuck on the case and the girl wasn't able to describe the man, who had attacked and kidnapped her. Who had tortured and raped her for days. Simply 'cause he had been wearing a mask.  
But talking to Casey Novak, admitting that there still was not even a hint of success, made the detective feel even worse.  
Not that she gave a damn about what the new Assistant District Attorney would think about her and Elliot or if she would question their qualification and abilities, but Casey Novak clearly was lacking the sensitivity, which was necessary for this job and its victims.

Alex would have tried to comfort her, to encourage her. The blonde would have told Olivia that she believed in her and that they wouldn't give up until the guy, who did this to Melissa, would find himself a new home behind bars.

But that was the point.  
Alexandra Cabot had been passionate about every single case, she had been ambitious. She hadn't hesitated to bend the law, to cross some lines in order to serve justice. She had always fought for what she had believed in.  
And although they had had their differences, she had always made Olivia and Elliot feel that their opinion was important to her, that she counted on them, that they had her trust. That she respected them.

Casey Novak on the other hand would never be anything like that.  
She would never be Alex.  
Not that Olivia wanted her to be.


	5. Chapter 5

**-CHAPTER 4-**

By the time of Thanksgiving Melissa had been picked up from her devastated father, who blamed himself for everything that had happened to his daughter.

Jonathan Walker seemed to be a nice man, hard working to provide his only child a good life, especially since his wife had died, but it meant that he wasn't able to be home and spend time with Melissa very often.

Olivia had told him that she understood, but that what his daughter needed now more than all the money in the world was her dad and she was quite sure that he got that.

It also had been Jonathan Walker, who had told Olivia Benson and Elliot Stabler, that he thought one of his colleagues had to be the delinquent and his suspicions had been right in the end.  
DNA didn't lie although Brian Foster had denied his guilt all the way.

In the end he had confessed though, simply 'cause it was his only option left and he had explained that he had done it out of jealousy.  
Out of jealousy that Jonathan Walker had been promoted again although Brian Foster thought he would have deserved it more than anybody else 'cause he had been working for the company way longer and he worked twice as hard.

And one night he had drunken way too much and he had decided to teach his "enemy" a lesson, but since Mr. Walker hadn't been home he had seen his only chance in kidnapping Melissa.  
But then everything had went completely out of control. He had told the detectives that he had never planned on hurting the girl, but then he had met his ex-wife, who had told him what much of a loser he was and the he had lost it.  
He had taken his whole anger out on Melissa Walker.  
For days.

Olivia had felt the urge to puke during his confession and for a moment she had thought that Elliot would jump at Brian Foster and beat him senseless, but since Casey Novak had been watching them like an eagle he hadn't even raised his voice.

The new A.D.A. had been satisfied with the outcome of their work in the end, but Olivia couldn't have cared less.

She had been to the hospital to say good bye to Melissa and it was then that the teenager had told her the secret behind her tattoo.  
The unicorn stood for Melissa's mother,Monica Walker, 'cause watching "The last unicorn" was one of the happiest memories the girl had about her mom and unicorns always had been their favorite animals, hers and her mother's.

Melissa had told Olivia how much she was missing her mother and that she wished that she had just left the family to live a different life, that she still would be out there somewhere at times.  
That everything would be better than her mother being dead for real.

Olivia had almost started to cry at Melissa's words, had closed her eyes immediately, just to have Alex' face pop up on her mind.  
She missed her so much and she didn't even know why.  
-

Kathy and Elliot had invited Olivia over to celebrate Thanksgiving with them and their kids and although she had felt like hiding from the world for the next ten years she had accepted the invitation in the end.

And the evening had been great and even funny, but the subtle sadness in Olivia's eyes hadn't stayed unrecognized by Elliot Stabler and his worries for his partner and best friend grew even larger.

But when he had tried to talk to Olivia about it she had shut down immediately.  
Of course.  
What else had he expected?

At least his partner had agreed to watch Maureen, Kathleen, Richard and Elizabeth somewhere within the next weeks so he and his wife could do their Christmas shopping.  
And Olivia surely could need some distraction as well.

'Cause although Elliot still hadn't figured out what all of this was about, he was pretty much sure that it had something to do with the death/disappearance of Alexandra Cabot.


	6. Chapter 6

****_A/N: hello everybody!_

_so, here is the next chapter and I hope you'll like it. Reviews will be gladly appreciated, but they are not a must._

_this is going to be a long story, that will develope in "slow motion". Kind of. next there is a lot to come and I'm trying my best to keep you entertained._

_that said I wish you all a good time reading and if anyone feels like it - you can also message me. I won't bite, you'll see._

_much love, raven_

* * *

**-CHAPTER 5-**

Elliot's and Kathy's Christmas shopping had been rescheduled four times 'cause whenever a date had been set something had come up at work.  
And all that horror had practically killed the whole holiday spirit, at least for the ones that were in "Santa mood".

Olivia clearly wasn't, but now that it were just five more days 'till Christmas, she felt even more sad.  
But one the other hand it would be over soon.

Watching "The Polarexpress" with the Stabler children didn't really cheer her up though.  
For once she wasn't a child anymore and she didn't believe in miracles either and second she never had been much of a Christmas person.  
She never had a family to celebrate it with and all memories she had from her childhood were her drunken mother, who never really had gotten her presents. In the best case she had left her alone, she hadn't hit her.  
And that was practically everything Olivia had wished for on Christmas anyway.

"Why are you so sad, Auntie Olivia?"  
Maureen had sat down on her lap from one second to the next without a warning.

"I'm not sad, Sweetie...it's just...I miss my friend, you know..."  
She had spoken it out loud before she could have thought about it.

"Where is your friend? Is he dead?"

Olivia cringed at the question, but Elliot's daughter couldn't possibly know. He didn't talk to his children about work, plus he would, under no circumstances tell anybody about Alex being in the Witness Protection Program. It was way too important to stay silent about it and they both were aware of that.

"No, my friend just moved to another town. Far away in fact", Olivia answered when she noticed the worried look on Maureen's face, "Don't worry, Sweetie...I'll be fine."  
-

By the time the credits rolled over the screen Kathleen and the twins were asleep, just Maureen was watching Olivia closely.

"It's okay to miss someone, you know... the little girl whispered, trying not to wake her siblings.

"You are right, Sweetie."

"Maybe it's like in the movie...if you wish for your friend to come back hard enough and truly believe in it...maybe that friend will come back one day..."  
"Maybe", Olivia answered, trying to keep the tears from running down her face.  
That would be too good to be true.  
-

Elliot had been standing in the doorframe for a while, hearing his daughter and Olivia talk and although he knew he shouldn't have listened he was glad that his partner had at least told someone, even if it was his nine - year - old daughter.  
-

Maureen Stabler had begged her father to take her shopping the next day 'cause she wanted to buy a present for Olivia, but she had refused to tell her dad what it was. She even had insisted to pay it with her pocket money, which had been the biggest surprise, but it had made Elliot very proud.  
In fact he was impressed by his oldest daughter and her actions.  
-

The Stabler Christmas was something Olivia had never experienced before.  
She had been there to give the kids some presents and chat for a while, but this year she had been invited to celebrate with them for real.  
Which meant she had to spend the night at their house and that was something Olivia hadn't expected.

But all the cooking, baking cookies and everything together with Kathy and the kids worked its magic and Olivia finally felt a little bit better.  
She just wished Alex would be there.  
With all of them.

Maureen had offered that she could sleep in her room with her, so Olivia would have company and since she had seen the hope and joy shining in the little girl's eyes she hadn't dared to say 'No'.  
-

They all had sat in the living room for a while that evening and had played some games.  
The whole room had been filled with laughter and Olivia had watched her partner, who seemed to be so unbelievably happy to be able to spend time with his family.  
It touched her heart to see Elliot so at easy 'cause at work they didn't get much to smile about.

When the twins had finally fallen asleep Olivia had volunteered to tuck Kathleen and Maureen in, so Elliot and Kathy would have some time on their own, which they had been very thankful for.  
-

_DECEMBER 25_

Olivia woke up to the excited screams and giggles of the Stabler twins and moaned. Taking a look at the clock on Maureen's nightstand she realized that it wasn't even 6 am yet and the little girl was lying right next to her, snuggled up by her side and that caused Olivia to actually smile.

She had slept well for once, no nightmares, no jumping up, sweating like a pig, in the middle of the night and she was grateful for that, more than anything.

Maureen started to stirr right that moment, a huge smile on her face, "The twins are up already, aren't they?"

Olivia nodded and laughed when she heard the Stabler kids squeal out of joy from downstairs, "They sure are."

That said the detective and her little roommate jumped up and headed downstairs to join the rest of the family.


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: hello again! _

_I think I said it before, but I will say it again. This story will develop slow. Simply 'cause in my story Olivia sees Alex as a friend, nothing more._

_Sure, there is more to it, but she isn't aware of that yet._

_So if you are hoping that Alex will be back and they'll be happy together within the next few chapters this story clearly isn't for you._

_It isn't realistic, it is not Alex or Olivia alike either, and I for sure have my own plans for this story._

_Reviews are appreciated, critics are too, but nobody is going to force me into changing my storyline 'cause they want a happily ever after right now._

_If anybody doesn't want to write a public review, you can also message me. I don't bite._

_thanks to everybody, who is taking the time to read this story and stick with me - I think it will be worth the wait and the patience._

_much love,_

_raven_

* * *

**-CHAPTER 6-**

When Maureen had handed her a small black box with her name on it in glittering letters Olivia had almost started to cry and once she had opened it to find a bell in it like the one the boy had gotten from Santa in the movie she had been watching with the Stabler kids not long ago the female detective had been rendered speechless.

"You have to believe in it, Auntie Olivia. With all your heart. And everything will be fine."

She had hugged the little girl for a long time, thankful that she had this great family in her life, who cared for her and didn't leave her to herself.  
-

That evening, once the kids were asleep and his wife had went to take a hot bath, Elliot and Olivia where sitting on a bench on the porch in the backyard of the Stabler house, both a cup of tea in their hands talking about her partner's kids.

"You know, Maureen had me drive her to the mall 'cause she wanted to buy you a gift. And of course she knew exactly what she wanted. She didn't even let me pay for it. No, she had spent her pocket money on it", Elliot announced with pride swinging in his voice.

"Really? She's quite something, El."  
Olivia smiled at her partner, showing how grateful she was and how much she appreciated the thoughtful gift of his daughter, but then she went silent again.

Elliot was sure that the conversation had just died, but his partner surprised him that night.

"I miss her so much, El. I miss Alex so much that it hurts."

He was a little startled for a moment, but then he squeezed her shoulder gently to reassure Olivia she didn't have to deal with the situation alone, "I miss her too."

"It's not the same though. You have your family to come home to every day. I have..."  
She swallowed hard, trying to find the right words.

"Liv..."

"Elliot. I know you mean it well, but I have nothing. I have nobody to go home to. And I hardly have any friends. You know how hard it is for me to get over myself, over my past. To let somebody in. Don't get me wrong, El. I know I can always count on you. I know that you are my friend, my partner, but Alex is my friend too. And you can't replace a true friend with somebody else. She is a person I respect and trust. And they just took her away from me. Just like that. As if it was no big deal. But it is...it is for me."

Tears were running down her face now, but right that moment Olivia didn't care.

And it also was the moment Elliot Stabler realized why Alexandra Cabot's "death" was so much worse for his partner than for anyone else.  
Everybody at the precinct had been devastated when they had heard the news of the A.D.A. been killed, but clearly nobody had lost as much as Olivia.

Looking at the bell she had been holding in her right hand the whole time as if her life would depend on it, as if it would contain all of his partner's hope, he said, completely serious, "Maureen is right, Liv. You have to believe in it. You have to believe that Alex will come back one day. 'Cause she will."  
-

Lying on the couch in her own apartment about an hour later Olivia Benson was covered in the darkness of the night and her soul.  
Moving the bell in her hand she drifted off to one of her most precious memories.

_[flashback]_

_Alex had lost in court that day. It had been one of the rare occasions when luck definitely hadn't been on her side. And justice had failed as well. 'Cause the most important witness had disappeared in the last second and without him they didn't have enough proof to have found that pervert guilty._

_The whole precinct had been fairly disappointed, but there had been nothing they could have done right that moment.  
The witness couldn't be found although they had tried everything and so things had went out of control._

_Elliot had headed home to his family the second his shift had ended, Munch and Fin still were out somewhere, so her and Alex had been the only one at the bar that night._

_Olivia had been sure that she had hardly ever seen Alex Cabot that frustrated, but she was so disillusioned herself that she didn't know how to comfort the A.D.A. that night._

_"Promise me that we'll get him one day", the tall blonde had said at some point, sounding so unbelievably sad._

_Although Olivia hadn't been sure if she was doing the right thing she had grabbed Alex' hand, looking her friend straight in those blue eyes, "We'll put him behind bars. I'll do anything in my powers to catch him before he can hurt somebody else, Alex. I promise."_

_At those words the A.D.A. had squeezed her hand to reassure her trust in her and had given her a smile.  
It's been just a small one, but it was better than nothing and it had made her feel better as well._

_They had sat in the bar for a while, talking about work and some random stuff afterwards, trying to get some distraction and after a while she had succeeded in cheering the counselor up although Olivia never figured out how she had done it._

_Alex had insisted to share a cab once they had left and when they had arrived at Olivia's apartment the detective had been brave for once and had offered her blonde friend to come up and have a coffee.  
Simply cause she had sensed that Alex hadn't wanted to be alone and in that moment Olivia had overcome her fear and had let somebody in._

_Well, not somebody, but Alex._

_And so she had unlocked the door to her apartment and more than that to her life._

_That night they had talked a lot about their families, their past and Olivia had revield how damaged she felt and probably really was.  
To her surprise Alex hadn't judged her, hadn't talked to her as if she would have pity with her, but she had listened from the beginning to the end._

_And the A.D.A. had confessed that her own childhood hadn't been as great as everybody would expect.  
That the loneliness was the thing she remembered best from her childhood. That she had been left alone way too often, that everybody had expected nothing, but perfection from her, no matter how she felt._

_Somewhere on the way of their conversation they had fallen asleep on Olivia's couch and when she woke up in the morning, Alex lying right next to her, she hadn't freaked - much to her own surprise.  
'Cause Olivia wasn't good at being close to somebody, but that morning she had felt safe with another person for the first time in forever._

_And that had been the moment when Olivia had decided that Alex was indeed worth her trust, that she had found a true friend in the smart blonde woman._

_It never had influenced their professionalism at work 'cause then they were detective and counselor, but whenever they met in their free time they simply were Alex and Olivia.  
Two women, who truly understood and respected each other._

_[flashback ends]_

A single tear found its way down her face and Olivia squeezed the bell in her hand.  
If only she knew if Alex was okay...


End file.
